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- Save the whales. Collect the whole set. 
- A day without sunshine is like, night. 
- On the other hand, you have different fingers. 
- I just got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory. 
- 42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot. 
- 99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name. 
- You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted, then    used against you. 
- I plan to live forever or die trying. 
- I wonder how much deeper the ocean would be without sponges. 
- Honk if you love peace and quiet. 
- Remember half the people you know are below average. 
- Despite the cost of living, have you noticed how popular it remains? 
- Nothing is fool-proof to a talented fool. 
- Atheism is a non-prophet organisation. 
- He who laughs last thinks slowest. 
- Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm. 
- Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines. 
- The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese. 
- I intend to live forever - so far so good. 
- Borrow money from a pessimist - they don't expect it back. 
- Mind like a steel trap - rusty and illegal in most states. 
- The only substitute for good manners is fast reflexes. 
- Support bacteria - they're the only culture some people have. 
- When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane and going the wrong way. 
- If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried. 
- A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking. 
- Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.
- For every action there is an equal and opposite criticism. 
- Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of cheques. 
- Never do card tricks for the group you play poker with. 
- No one is listening until you make a mistake. 
- Success always occurs in private and failure in full view. 
- The colder the x-ray table the more of your body is required on it. 
- The hardness of butter is directly proportional to the softness of the bread. 
- The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the ability to reach it. 
- To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research. 
- To succeed in politics, it is often necessary to rise above your principles. 
- Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7th of your life. 
- You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive. 
- Two wrongs are only the beginning. 
- The problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard. 
- The sooner you fall behind the more time you'll have to catch up. 
- A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory. 
- Change is inevitable except from vending machines. 
- Plan to be spontaneous - tomorrow. 
- Always try to be modest and be proud of it! 
- If you think nobody cares, try missing a couple of payments. (Katja!!!) 
- Love may be blind but marriage is a real eye-opener. 
- If at first you don't succeed, then skydiving isn't for you. 
- If you have lost something, it will be in the last place you look for it. 
- Everything you like is bad for you in some way.


P.S. All spelling errors are intentional and are there to show new and
improved ways of spelling old words.


 
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